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Lesbian in love with my straight friend?
one of my course tutors, i got on with really well, and since last year ive asked to meet her for coffe and chat, this has become about a monthly thing, well over this time, i notice that she always takes notice of me, and on occasions has comforted me,being touchy , i began to like her, and i would send her little ecards which she always replied,said they were lovely, i noticed they where printed off and put on her wall in her office, so i sent her an email with a poem asking her to be mine,etc, so now she knows, shes straight,married,dont know how happy,and im a lesbian,she knows, she emailed me back telling me she was with her husband, and so i asked if we could still be friends, which is great, thing is, i have the feeling she actually enjoys the attention, because she i made a cd of lovely music, she says she hadnt even thought about things along the lines of love for years, so i guess she must be happy,she still gives me loving glances, and is happy to meet, me, i guess i live in hope that one day ,when shes single,maybe ,we;ll be able to get close, and that maybe shes just never thought about it, maybe she just enjoys a lesbian liking her. any opinoins on this please,
Oh god, I've been here before. With two women, actually.

The first was an teacher at school, when I was in 6th form. She was engaged and had a guy. All the same things happened that are happening with you. And then it went further. I am not proud of this at all, but we ended up having a 2 year affair. I'm still friends with her now, 6 years on, but I was heartbroken when she ended it because she was marrying her fiance.

The other one was also a teacher. This was before my ex and I started seeing each other. All the same things happened - emails, cds, glances, comments, etc. She even text me one day telling me I looked sexy after driving past me at the bus stop. I still see her now and again and I'm convinced she's bi - BUT things never went further. She's been with the same man for about 18 years now and I don't think it was ever in her head to fool around with me. At the same time, I think she flirted with me because she enjoyed the attention.

This is what I think your tutor is doing to you.

Trust me.....leave it alone!!

Firstly, you could have your heart broken.

Secondly, even if she did somehow miraculously choose you, you can't even begin to imagine the heartache you would cause.

I am bisexual and I've had a boyfriend for 5 years. He allowed me to be in an open relationship with a woman for the past 6 months. Now we are in love with each other, and TRUST ME, a lot of the time I wish I'd never met her...... so much hurt has been caused and the situation is hell.

You don't want to get involved in something like that, let alone be the cause of it.

Of course, you'll probably ignore what I say and keep persuing her. But I can only hope that you'll listen and learn from my experience!! (And I'm only a year older than you!)

I really would steer clear of this one. I can see it ending in tears. If you have to, simply tell her that you find her attractive and if by some stroke of luck she is ever single and was interested, you would be interested too. That way, you're not missing your chance should that ever happen - but you're also not messing around in someone else's marriage.

And that is what you are doing at the moment. Have you ever been cheated on? It's the most awful thing in the whole world - which is precisely why i would never, ever go after anyone in a relationship ever again. Imagine if she finally was your girlfriend, you were completely in love, and then her ex husband started to romance her again behind your back.... you would not like it one bit.

Bottom line - attraction can be a fun thing and crushes can be harmless. But keep it that way. No more flirting, no more making CDs, no more trying to convert her.

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